In the 11 last years HCC has said goodbye to a lot of folks. In the first 2 years alone over 100 people decided they needed to worship somewhere else. And while this is not a scientific count I would guess that we have seen over 1000 people leave Harmony since we began in 1997.Some left because they moved away, some left because they simply became inactive, some went home to be with the Lord. But many have left for other reasons. Some of the comments I have heard over the years include.
"We feel like we can't know anyone here - it's so big".
"I'm used to a smaller church"
"Things aren't the way they used to be"
"We want a choir"
"I don't like the Music"
Now being a people person you need to know that every one of these comments stung. There's a part of me that wants to run after them and say, "Give us another chance - we'll do church in a way that makes you happy". I've lost hours and hours and hours of sleep over such comments.
But I had to dissect these comments and have over time - here are my thoughts (and really there's nothing personal about any of this).
If the concern is not knowing anyone - that can be a problem in any church - no one is going to know everyone here - Hey I'm the pastor and I don't know everyone here. But everyone can know someone. Get in a ministry team, join a Life Team, here's a novel idea - INTRODUCE YOURSELF TO SOMEONE!
If someone leaves because we're getting too big - they are leaving because they have a problem with God's purpose for His church. The church is supposed to be reaching people - if they do they will grow. If a church is not growing there's a problem.
If someone is looking for a "smaller church" they really don't need to look elsewhere - they need to get connected in a Life Team hear - that's our version of the "smaller church".
Things are not the way they used to be - we have changed. Praise the Lord! Now we all know change is hard - but let's be consistent here. How many of you still have a party line on your phone (or even know that is)? How many of you drive a car with only an AM radio? How many of you have a PC? We live in a changing world and while we have a timeless message - there must be changes in the way we communicate it.
About the whole "music" issue - that is going to be an issue in every church. Because music is about preference and in our case it's about our "target". Yes, I said target. While we are not uninterested in older "church folks" - we are seeking young families with children. And the style of music we use has them in mind.
So I guess what it all boils down to is this. Harmony has a vision - we want to help people find Jesus and grow in Him. We are not perfect - but we are not apologetic about it either. So if people really can't get excited about where we are going or how we are going about it - maybe it is best for them to find a place where they "fit in".
Sure - I would rather they "fit in" here. I'd rather for them to see Georgetown as a sea of lost people in desperate need of Jesus. I'd rather folks understand that what we are doing is making an eternal difference. I'd rather not see them leave. I'd rather they shared the vision and worked their tails off with us to see it accomplished. But if that's just not going to happen - then let me say, as I often have - Goodbye - and God bless you.
Saying goodbye is tough - but Sometimes saying goodbye is a good thing.
2 comments:
I was one of those a while back that came from a small church and a small town. The whole "big" church scenerio didn't appeal to "me". But once I tried getting "me" out of the picture and focused on the "us" in church, I realized it was the "us" (God's children) that mattered. If we take the "me" out of the picture and focus on God's purpose and his whole family, it wouldn't matter what church a person attended. The job would be getting done. Dean you're awesome!
I feel that some people come (visit) at the coercion of a spouse, relative or significant other and are looking for reasons to go… For the majority of the rest of those that leave (I realize that some may leave over what they feel are legitimate concerns) I think that they have lost site of what the church is supposed to represent in their lives. While coming to be fed Gods word may be the impetus to begin coming to church, at some point it should transition into helping feed others. The simplest way to shrink the overwhelming feeling of size is to become involved and like you said Life Teams are the best place to start.
Making those who visit have warm fuzzy feelings is our responsibility as a church by having an effective “First Impressions”. I think we do a good job at this, but I still talk to a few people who manage to sneak in without being greeted or talked to. It takes a fairly outgoing person to seek out and talk to those who are trying to come in under the radar.
As far as the music goes, I think it is perfect for our target audience. Even if we tried, it would be physically impossible to please everyone in this area.
One of the things that everyone I talk to says is that they enjoy your sermons, so don’t lose too much sleep, the part that you can control the most is hitting the mark.
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