246.0 / 1.8 / 19OK - I'm really letting you in on who I am and who I can be.
Preface - Nothing bad is happening, I'm not leaving HCC, and I don't have cancer. But for a about a week I've felt like the Devil had my number. Something was discussed with me last week and it was done in love and in the right tone - I really mean that. But it hit me wrong for some reason. In the discussion I mentioned concerns and thought that was that. But a couple of days later I hadn't let it go. As a matter of fact I was starting to be consumed by it.
So much so that I decided to fast concerning the issue. So for the last four days I have been fasting. I didn't tell anyone - not even Melody. Now I'm not writing about this to promote me in any way - I know what a "meathead" I can be. But I think I've learned some things.
I thought the discussion was the big issue. I think now the big issue was me. I don't see myself as a prideful person - but then who would - right? But as I was praying and seeking God and trying to fight off the "crap" going through my head it dawned on me. Is this a legitimate concern? I concluded that it was - but my emotional reaction was ridiculous and Satan was using it big time. I'm still not sure it was pride or ego or what - but I know full well it wasn't something from God.
I was reminded yet again of the truth of Ephesians 6:12-13 - For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand.
I am surrounded by people right now that are facing similar struggles, several on our staff are feeling the attacks daily. And to them and anyone reading this... don't forget - we need to put on the full armor - not just bits and pieces of it.
The Bible tells us some things will not be resolved without prayer and fasting - I highly recommend that we all take that advice.
2 comments:
I will pray for you.
Thanks Jack - I'm doing very well... this has been a great experience.
I'm reminded again of Rom 8:28 - "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose."
I know that God loves me and He has a great purpose. We all just need to remember who's purpose we're wanting.
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